Time for a change

It has been a while since I blogged. Really it's been a long time since I have done anything that I consider "for me". Last week however I spent a week with my family doing very little. We were sequestered to FL for a little R&R and I must say I desperately needed it. I have spent far too much time thinking about the drudgery of daily life and the stress of caring for an ailing relative. Fact is folks, I needed a change in latitude to change my attitude. We had a wonderful time. I forgot about my stress long enough to feel refreshed and experience some healing from my physical symptoms. The really stinky part is that I had to come back to it. Disappointingly, life was here to greet me when I returned and it didn't change one bit during my absence. In fact, it got colder, darker and what I didn't accomplish while I was away, awaited me still.
So....here's my plan. Since I can't update my address and become the beach bum my flesh wants to be, I can renew my mind. Well honestly, I can't renew it alone -that is, of my own ability- so I think I will ask God to help me. Change my attitude without the change in latitude.
I returned with a great deal of anxiety that once I was "back to life" that my joy would flee and symptoms would return. I really needed this time of rest to continue so that can continue healing and it came to abrupt, premature halt. So...back to my plan...Why don't I go to Him and receive my rest? I can go to The Sabbath and abide there, in Him till I have been restored. I've got Bible on that so you can't tell me I'm nuts. My only question is how?
I am, after all, a doer. I might not be as bad as the "caffeine molecule" friend that I have but, I simply can't sit still. Though, since she doesn't seem to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown I must ask, what is different with her? Maybe my Sabbath wires have gotten crossed (unlike hers). This doing that I do is quickly becoming an obsession which, from where I sit, is an idol. AKA sin.
Since I am in Christ and He is in me I think I will take Him up on his offer to "Come." I do like trips. The trip shouldn't be far (and thankfully it does not require passing though airport security). I expect that the trip though, might involve a surrender of more than a quantity of liquids greater than 3 oz. I think I might have to surrender my white knuckled grip on the control of my life.
I can talk the talk but can I walk the walk? I have shared with many that God is Sovereign. I believe this with all of my being. He's got it all figured out and has a plan. So why is it that I feel like I must oversee it? Pray for me? Please? I stand at this crossroads fully aware that I am sinning in my power trip ( and suffering physically for it, too) and am afraid to toss that sin aside and trust God to take my burdens from me. I just don't know what to eliminate first. I have prioritized these things that I do and it doesn't seem that I can subtract one. To top it all off, I like what I do- at least I used to. So how do I do this? What's first?
Someone once said joy is found in Jesus first, others next and yourself last J-O-Y. Maybe I should put Jesus first?
Well, go away world and take your demands with you. While you are at it, take Satan too. He's got your number anyway and he's starting to annoy me.
Just give me Jesus.
AMEN

In the morning when I rise...

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