The last fight

They sit across from each other. It’s a table for two. Out of the way and “kind of private”. Actually, their coordinates are divinely located. The establishment is sort loud and no one notices them fighting.It was supposed to be date night. It quickly became fight night.

Why? Well. a Facebook post was the reason. Not his. Not hers. She actually abandoned Facebook at the beginning of the year. It was her New Year’s Resolution. Find contentment. Delete Facebook.

The post: a well-meaning, oblivious, simple sweetheart who just wanted to share something that she felt captured some truth. That truth that ultimately hurt someone else. That truth opened wounds that had been left to fester unattended for over two years. 

The truth she shared; Pastors are special & pastor’s wives are some kind of un-acclaimed saints.

The knife stabs his heart first. She never saw it. He drew it to her attention. He’s sensitive to this kind of stuff. After all, who wouldn’t love a pastor? And for that matter who wouldn’t feel “bad” for a pastor’s wife. They suffer for their husband. They sacrifice for the ministry he leads. They have to work in a world that forsakes them and they sometimes have to go to bed alone so that their husbands can support their family.

Oh wait. That’s most wives. Hmmm? So what you are saying is that Pastor’s wives aren’t “special” they are just wives. Ok.

What about the husbands of church staff? They guys who leave before dawn, support their families because their wives are working for salaries that are fractions of what they would be in a secular job (all for the kingdom); the ones who load dishwashers while their wives are running ministry council meetings getting harassed by male chauvanitsts who attack them for being female and daring to work in ministry. The ones who help with homework and assist with doctor appointments and then they still manage to come to church with a smile on, greet newcomers and shake hands with the very people he knows are abusing his wife , allowing her to lay her life on the altar for ministry.

My vote for spouse of the year is not the humble Pastor’s wife. It’s the church staff workers husband. He stands by her, knowing that his role is essential. He serves the Lord and despite his pride and protection of the princess he has been charged with, he agrees to let her “work it out.”

I love my pastors. I love their wives and their children. I too am a wife. I have a husband and children. They support me in ministry and it’s not easy. Let’s not hold ANYONE higher than Jesus. We all walk this path together. 

This is that last fight. She resolves. This is the last time they discuss this topic.